riot fest day 1

this was probably the highlight of my night. tipsy, dancing in the crowd with missy and two random underage lesbians we joined forces with, snaking our way up to a relatively close spot. i kept repeating how bad ass joan jett was. it was true. she was fucking bad. ass. "hey, stop taking selfies and fucking dance." danzig blew my mind right after, in a different way. different energy. i felt so excited. it was like there wasn't a 10 year gap between me and the kids getting bloody in the pit. by the way, there was a 10 year gap between me and the kids getting bloody in the pit. when did that happen?

Composer Quotes

This is pretty wonderful. It makes me feel not alone.

Quotes by famous composers/musicians

The one that got me the most was good ol' Franz Liszt. Note: he's from Hungaria, not France.

"Mournful and yet grand is the destiny of an artist."

Imagine being in your late 20's hanging out with Chopin and Bizet and all the French writers, probably smoking and getting drunk and just absolutely slaying at everything you play, creating what would be the absolute idealist way of life, having these European women fighting over everything you touched and creamed themselves every time you got on stage. You will be considered one of the best pianists of all time, and you die alone. Yup. I mean he had kids and had lovers and his writing just got better and better with every breakup, but the motherfucker knew he was going to die in a fashion opposite of his legacy. He wrote the most introspective and amazing pieces knowing he was on his way out, but he was still alone.

"I carry a deep sadness of the heart which must now and then break out in sound."

I mean, is it worth it?

the 18th variation

I think it's time to share my favorite piece of music ever written.

I was introduced to Rhapsody my junior year. Everyone in my class had to analyze a different variation, or part, of the piece. My professor Philip chose the 18th variation for me to analyze. I fell in love with it immediately.
Weird thing is, so did my Mom. It was used in one of her favorite movies, Somewhere in Time, scored by the great John Barry. She knew the piece before I even heard of Rachmaninov. I don't really think it was coincidence that this variation was chosen for me. I mean, maybe Philip saw my interest in Romanticism and thought I would do justice to its analyzation. I think I did. Perhaps it was art's way of connecting my mother in me, giving us something to share without even knowing it. Are people really connected like that?
Nonetheless, Somewhere in Time became one of my favorite movies too, you know, those love stories where there is no real happy ending; either he dies, or she dies, or they both die, or in this case, you have to save France, and you'll co-exist in the world but not together, knowing your greater purpose in life has outweighed the physical pleasures of actually being with the love of your life.

What the fuck kind of sacrifice is that?

Anyway, I wrote this paper in 2006. I wish you could see a score so you knew what the hell I was talking about. Still, reading it again has given me a slight motivation to finally. Finally. Finally get back into classical music.

Or in my case, music in general. Get back into life... and save France.

back to square one.

I had to convince myself that love wasn't real.

I convinced myself that love wasn't real.

Love isn't real.

But The September Project is.

Happy September 1st.