some Saturday nights

Don't get me wrong, I like the people here. But some Saturday nights you're missing home real hard and you just gotta yell at the dumbass drunk college kids as they jaywalk in black costumes in the darkness across Commonwealth Ave. on a red light. Sometimes you value your alone time to contemplate why you feel alone when you're far from it. Altered substitutions. The function is the same but this time around, it just sounds different. It just feels different. Sometimes you just gotta stay in on a Saturday night, take off that mask, and learn about Coltrane Changes again.

Bluesday, October 25: The Wallflowers

This place is old, it feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
It smells of cheap wine, cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dying dreams
I think of death, it must be killing me

Come on try a little, nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than in the middle
But me and Cinderella, we put it all together
We can drive it home with one headlight

I don't know if I completely like the piano in this version. Usually I'm a sucker for the additive, but I feel like the automatic drive that happens in the drums right when you hit the gas pedal of the original version better suits the tone and lyrics of this song.  Jakob Dylan said the "she" in this represents his band's originality and ideas, and the song is about the death of them.

There's got to be something better than in the middle. I know it's out there. Where is it, though? Am I even on the right road? How long will I be driving with one headlight?

I guess there's comfort in knowing that they make it home.

Oh and P.S. this song won a Grammy two years after it was released. The Nineties: when record sales lasted longer than two weeks. Maybe it'll take that long for me, too. Maybe shorter. Maybe longer. Who knows? NOBODY. SO STOP OVERTHINKING.

stop surrounding yourself with shitty humans

 it's hard to be disciplined

i just gotta remember that it's more than just me now
i have to be better about managing my time
remember what's most important
not these petty little things
not how i feel about the failures of humans
in all different kinds of ways
god they are so terrible
but remember what's possible and remember what i'm here to do
be disciplined
practice my art
do things to make me happy
don't give into stupid shit
take care of my body
all this shit
all of it

i need to raise the standard of my life.
it's time to grow up from this petty bullshit way of life
and reach excellence
i deserve it
and it starts by not being a shitty human being.